New tradition

    This year we started a new Christmas tradition by having my family come to our house to celebrate. Usually we travel between Brandon's family's house and my parent's house during the holidays and it's quite exhausting. This year I decided we would spend Thanksgiving with his parents and Christmas at home and it was fun and tiring....

  My favorite part of Christmas day are stocking stuffers. Now that we are older we all contribute to buying one another little knick-knacks for the stockings. My dad always buys us kid stuff...we got play-dough this year, and my brother and husband decided to buy the men mini Nerf guns (bad idea). Those things pack some power..my poor dog ended up getting hit in the eye and pouted about it for six hours (you'll shoot your eye out). Needless to say, there won't be any more fun guns purchased :( My dad also likes to buy us car related things (haha) but they are things we would use like a car freshener and a tire pressure gauge...and then I pulled out an ice scraper and didn't know what it was. At first I thought it was a pooper-scooper for cat litter and kinda got mad because I was thinking, "Who the hell bought me a cat"? Cats are cute and all but I can't deal with the hair...Everyone laughed at me..ooops!

   We opened presents and enjoyed all of our new goodies, but then it was time to start dinner. The day before, I had prepped everything and cleaned the turkey and cooked the yucky things inside..GROSS! My mom guided me through the whole stuffing and turkey process because I haven't cooked one by myself before, I have only watched and helped here and there during previous celebrations. I learned it's all about the baste...literally..and making sure you salt and pepper the bird so it is tasty! However, everything gets pretty busy the closer the turkey gets to being complete. I made a new version of sweet potato casserole, green bean casserole, mashed taters, rolls, and three different pies. My brother even taught us why the turkey has dark meat and white meat...something to do with the muscle fibers (that kid is like rain man)! The dinner was delicious and over in fifteen minutes...booooo! All of that cooking and cleaning for fifteen minutes; good thing I have the leftovers this year :) Oh, and I am pretty sure my hands will smell like onions for weeks from chopping so many for the stuffing....

  In usual fashion, every one retires to the couch for a cat nap while their full stomachs digest all of the butter that was used in the making of my delicious meal :) It was a fun time with laughter and gifts. We missed several people this year as some of my family lives in another state and my grandparents decided to go tropical this year, but we enjoyed our little family time.

We have Ups and Downs

    I'm warning you this is not a very nice post, so if you want fa-la-la's don't read any further. Actually, this post doesn't really have anything to do with Brandon and I; I typically blog about our journey through life. This week has been CRAZY and has really made me a bitter person toward people; once again the human race fails again. My husband wonders why I choose to stay at home all of the time and the truth is that I hate having empty conversations with random people.."Hey how is work"?...."How is the house"? "How is school"? Ewww, my favorite word ever!

First, I would like to say that I have become a punching bag at work. Sorry if it offends you, but the truth hurts. I don't know where people think or have been taught that it is appropriate to say whatever you are thinking to a person. I know how hard it is to hold back negative comments, I truly do, I think about the negative things I would love to say to people or kids everyday, but I hold my tongue. It's call having common decency-If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all---did anyone learn this growing up? I have been threatened twice this year by a parent to have my tail torn up, I've been called a b**** twice, and the worst teacher ever. Why? Because I care what is going on in a child's life to call when their behavior plummets or when their grades hit rock bottom? Where is the professionalism? Who taught us that it is okay to speak that way to people? Is it the news, is it the government? I don't know, but it makes me ashamed, it breaks my heart to know that we (as a society) think it is okay to treat people like that. It is not okay....I repeat it is not okay.

Secondly, this whole racism stuff is sad too. We live in a world where people still want to separate themselves and hold on to untruths. How do you think this affects children today? They see this stuff on the news, they hear about it in schools, and the parents talk about it. It affects everyone; tension in our country is growing because of it. Can't we move past our judgements and love one another...cut the cable off...stop watching the news..I'm telling you that stuff is nothing but untruths!

Third, yesterday I received a phone call from the Pitt County Sheriff's office regarding my rings. Let me tell you, I have moved on and really didn't want to hear any more bad news about them. I listened to what the officer had to say- basically he has interviewed everyone who entered the bathroom and given everyone a lie detector test. As of yesterday (he saved the best for last) the person he thought was definitely guilty, passed the lie detector test. So...all in all...once again, it is okay to steal and get away with lying, cheating, and stealing from good people. Breaks my heart (like most things).

Lastly, please be kind to those who are working tomorrow. I truly believe it is sad that we value money and gifts over spending time with our loved ones. Whoever thought of opening stores on Thanksgiving day is a complete idiot. My own mother has to deal with people all day for 24 hours...it's not fair...it's crazy...and we have become so money hungry in our society that we can't even enjoy holidays. Heck- next year stores might be open on Christmas!

There it is...sorry it's not so nice, but people are not so nice. Cherish the moments you have with the people you love; whether they are friends or family. I am so thankful to have great friends, a loving and supporting husband, a wonderful family, and a job that pays my bills. In the end, that is what matters the most- not the news, not some parent who cusses me out, not shopping.

Hey, remember us?

Sooo, I took a hiatus from life (not really) but I'm back! Brandon asked me a few weeks ago why I hadn't blogged, in true Jessica fashion I gave him the, "Are you kidding me look (ha)"! MY LIFE IS BUSY, not necessarily his. I feel like a thoughtless robot going through the in's and out's of life...robot goes to work, robot comes home, robot grades papers, robot reads and does her personal school work, robot skips dinner, and robot goes to sleep; it's the same thing everyday. Who is this husband you speak of? I'm sure he feels like he has been put on the back back back burner, most nights I make it into bed before he gets home from work and on his weekdays off, I spend hours grading papers and working on grad school work. You won't hear a complaint from me, I know these were the choices I made, but goodness they are wearing me down! I am ready for Christmas break so I can go into hibernation!

Teaching: Hey, if you don't know...I am teaching fifth grade Science and Social Studies. A positive is that I really enjoy the curriculum and find myself spending hours pinning a lot of fun things to do in the classroom. It is a very unique age of children; I enjoy the (almost) independence they have from third graders, but a negative is that they are the most hormonal kids! The majority of them are trying to find some type of identity before they enter middle school; so it is a constant struggle between the teacher and the child to "figure" them out. They also like to tell a lot of untruths about things, so it makes it very hard to build a trusting relationship; something I am not used to. Another thing I am learning to "cope" with is having to share my class with two other teachers; I think we all have different ideas and styles which is a great change for the kids. I think after experiencing having one class all day, to having three I still enjoy having the same class all day long. It's easier to keep up with 24 kids, 24 parents, 24 papers, 24 grades rather than 68 of everything! Bless you middle and high school teachers! However, I am thankful for this wonderful learning experience; teaching teaches me more and more about what I am able to deal with and all the craziness that goes along with it.

Another positive is that I am in the home stretch....I am almost finished with my master's degree. This has been the toughest semester because I have had to spend a lot of time interacting with kids outside the elementary school and I have had to interview and complete many projects outside of the public school library. To sum it up....I've been running around like a chicken with my head cut off trying to find the time to be at so many places in a limited amount of time (this usually means I have to take a day off of work to get these things complete). However, it is one of the greatest learning experiences I have ever had! I am learning soooooo much about things that effect all aspects of the library and library users (mostly children and teens). In undergrad I learned how to write an effective lesson plan, but now I am learning about how to make children learn, why kids don't enjoy school, and the in's and out's of a school....super cool!

That's my life, it's a crazy and tired one, but it will be worth it in the end...KEEP CALM AND STUDY ON! As for Brandon....luckily he has some good guy friends he can hang out with! He's my saving grace...he keeps my nerves in CHECK and is really running the home and making sure I eat SOMETHING for dinner. I thank God every day for having such an amazing partner..husband, YOU ROCK!

The fun part about home ownership.....

   Needless to say, I have been quite the slacker with this blogging "stuff", but truth be told, we have been BUSY!
   Where to start? Last time I blogged, I announced the buying of our new home...hey ya'll, we have moved into a HOME! Due to my OCD, within forty-eight hours, my house was completely unpacked, organized, and set up--hasta luego boxes! (Ain't nobody got time for clutter). In true Jessica fashion, I decided to bite off more than I could chew with home projects, I always envision these great things, execute them, and get exhausted! Here are a few things I have learned so far about being a homeowner:
 
   1. After we moved in and got settled, we bought curtains and hung them up...most pain in the a** thing I have ever done (pardon the language)! The screws to the curtain rods were too long and wouldn't go into the walls, some of the screws stayed looking ridiculous, while I tried to go back and fix some of the others.

  2. Then, I wanted to paint. We were lucky to NOT have white walls, but everyone knows the paint used by contractors is cheap and rubs off fairly easy (and it's flat paint). Our first room we painted was the dining room...during the painting process, there was a lot of groaning on my part, and A LOT of bad words because when I get ill, I speak out loud! Painting in general is a very tedious job, but painting over crappy contractor paint requires multiple...MULTIPLE coats of paint, so what should have been a one day job, turned into a four day job. Day 1: paint edging.....Day 2: re-paint edging...Day 3: paint walls....Day 4: re-paint walls and touch up. AND we got paint on the floor, so then I spent hours scrubbing the floor with Goof-Off which smells like acetone...not fun. Now I'll be positive, I love the color, it's fun and glossy, but I hate painting. By the way....because I had all of these grand ideas to paint, we've invested in other types of paint for other rooms, but the desire to paint has vanished...ahhhh!

3. Yard work--- hahahahaha! Weeds are my biggest rival! Almost everyday, I pull weeds from the flower beds. Now, I've heard people say that we should put some kind of fabric under our mulch that keeps the weeds away, but we couldn't find it at Lowe's. Our first project was to get rid of the hideous pine straw in our flower beds. It was pretty easy to replace the pine straw with mulch with two people, we finished it fast. Then, I wanted a little flower bed around the mailbox, and good night, trying to pull up sod was like super gluing your hands together and then pulling them apart....what a nightmare. Our neighbors probably watched me through their windows and laughed...what a site! Then, I had an idea---let's put up a border around the flower beds! Bad idea---this required digging dirt, moving these heavy concrete things, covering in the dirt I dug up...and getting a lot of really nasty blisters! I honestly thought I broke my hand from digging because my left hand was swollen for days.  I'm not a baby, I like to think I'm pretty tough...I think I overworked my body. After this incident, I decided I was done with home improvements for a looooooooooong time! (And let me mention, I was not blessed with a green thumb---every time I mention buying pretty flowers, Brandon says I'll kill those too...oops!)

4. The crickets and frogs drive me nuts at night! When I lived in an apartment, I never heard them! Living in the "country" it's all I hear..is there frog repellent?

5. This is positive... I love having an open concept house, it feels big and cozy at the same time. It took awhile to get used to how big it was especially since I was coming from a one bedroom apartment. I also enjoy my big, but separate, bath tub. It's so relaxing! I love not hearing my neighbors ever movement, and so does Briley. He isn't barking at every little noise he hears, he still barks at things, but its been scaled down!

6. We are blessed beyond measures to have what we have at a young age. I love coming home to my home, I love the space, and the new home scent. I love walking my dog in a neighborhood, I love having my own yard...sometimes I sit and stare at my home with content. Sorry if we post a lot of pictures, but it's something we are proud of---just like you all with kids.

And a little funny----

Oh, the Places we'll GO!

I haven't blogged in a long time! I have been extremely busy with traveling, working, and school! We are busy bees, so to speak! However, I'll try to wrap this blog up pretty quickly with what has been going on with the Jones family.

For starters, I went to San Francisco in March...and I had a lovely time spending a few days with my long lost best friend (not really, we still Skype)! I had a true tourist experience with a real San Franciscan! We used public transportation to get into the city...public transportation has a lot of crazy people on it, so I was paranoid about being mugged or murdered (Carma told me not to worry because she had pepper spray). I loved spending time in the city because everything is at your finger tips..want a coffee??? Walk outside and down the street to get one; people don't drive! It's definitely a different life style, but I have to say that I envy her free life sometimes :) We explored Alcatraz, which is pretty awesome!! We walked around the wharf and the city, and I rode the cable car down all of the hills, which is kinda scary..those things have to have really good brakes! We ate cheesecake on the the rooftop of Macy's and it was amazing! The next day, we went to Murir woods and looked at the giant, but beautiful redwood trees! Then, we ate lunch overlooking the beautiful Golden Gate bridge; it's amazing to see what one city has to offer, you can be in the bustle of the city, or enjoying the peacefulness of a beautiful park! I'm sure I'll be going back for another visit!


Then, Brandon and I celebrated our one year anniversary on a cruise! We had a blast, minus my blistering sunburn! We loved Key West, and we loved our key lime pie! Our excursion took us around to the local bars where we had too much to drink with the company of other young couples; it was fun! But boy did we take a lengthy nap once we returned to the boat! The next day we explored Cozumel, and let me tell you...it was HOT! We literally kept applying sunscreen to ourselves, so we don't know how we ended up sunburned. The only think I can think of is that the SPF wasn't strong enough for the tropical sun...and I have the weirdest tan lines, yes folks...I have a penis on my leg :( not cool!! We rode a powered catamaran to a private island where we enjoyed Mexican food and drinks. It was very relaxing and the water was beautiful.  We had a great time spending our anniversary together...making memories instead of buying gifts :) We are so blessed to be able to do stuff like this together!

Finally, our newest news. Well, we are closing on a house on May 20th (hoping everything goes well of course). We have out grown our one bedroom apartment, but it has served us well for the past three  years. We need to be real grown ups and do the house thing... you know...all of the fun "things" you get to do (insert eye roll). Really, it will be nice to have something that is "ours" and it will be nice to not have neighbors below us and beside us. We will be spending our weekends at Lowe's and doing yard work and re painting our bare walls. I see a mile long honey-do list, but we have the rest of our lives to perfect our new home. We are beyond excited and can't wait to start a new journey together :). Then comes my job.... I am a long term substitute until the end of this school year. I will be teaching fifth grade Science and Social Studies to sixty wild ten year olds. There aren't any plans set in stone for next year, but I hope that I can continue being a fifth grade Science teacher next year too. Yes, I am still in graduate school, no I didn't quit (people can be so mean with rumors)! Yes I will graduate next May...my life plans aren't on hold because of work. I am a busy body and staying at home all day is NOT for me. After subbing in third grade as a long term sub, I realized that I CAN keep up with the demands of graduate school and teaching. Not only that---but I only have to plan for two subjects (makes things easier). I enjoy teaching, so why not do it full time and make some money?

Anyways, that's a wrap! We are busy, but we are enjoying our busy lives and we wouldn't have it any other way!

Defining Leadership

    One of the most difficult tasks I have had in graduate school has been a recent assignment. The assignment required us to define leadership, goals, and examples of how to implement leadership. In the task remarks, my professor told us,  "It is best to try think of people who you think are leaders, and determine, from them, the characteristics that make them a good leader". A few incidents have recently occurred and gave me the idea to write this.

    Okay....So I tried to think of people who have demonstrated leadership and I can say, with all honesty, it's easier to think of people who aren't leaders, than who are leaders. Here are a few things I found to be a common theme among people I think of as "leaders":

1. I can go to you and you will help me in any way that you can, when you don't know something, you do your best to find the answer.

2. When I make a mistake, you don't criticize me, talk about me behind my back, but guide me and COACH me so that I can learn.

3.You are willing to share your knowledge of things so that I am able to become better at my job.

4. You are empathetic towards situations; you understand that things "can happen", and work with me along the way.

5. You provide certainty; I know what to expect, things aren't thrown in the loop, and I feel like I am kept in the "know".

6. I am treated as your equal, yes you might be above me in pay grade, but you do your share of the work too. You are driven to do whatever it takes to get a job done; even if it means taking out the trash.

     These are a few example of things I could come up with. I feel like, in today's society, we expect people who are new to be perfect, or have that "throw them to the wolves" persona. I've never learned anything from being thrown to the wolves or by using my fight or flight response! I learned things because people have taken the time to guide me, and when I didn't know or didn't do it correctly, they demonstrated the correct way to accomplish it. Maybe society has become too vindictive and only want to get ahead in their own life. I feel like people who are in charge, feel the need to embrace their power a little too much. That is NOT leading, that's called being an asshole! I thought this quote by Dwight D. Eisenhower hit the nail on the head, "You do not lead by hitting people over the head- that's assault, not leadership"!

  A few family members who demonstrated leadership are my parents and grandparents; they always lead and offer pathways to answers. Sometimes I chose the right one, and sometimes I didn't, but at least they made an effort.

   In my career, I felt that my clinical teacher taught me the most about leadership. I could tell that other people looked up to her for advice; she always had all of the answers! But, she guided me through my internship, she didn't expect me to be perfect or to have all of the answers. She understood that it was my first time really planning lessons and using the standard course of study. She also knew that the point of the experience was for me to grow, and she definitely helped me in every way she could!

  When I was a first year teacher, I felt that my team mates always showed leadership; and I had absolutely no idea what I was doing when I started teaching third grade (hahaha)! But, with their guidance and support, I grew and could eventually stand on my own two feet. We worked well, and if we had a disagreement about something; it was OKAY. It's okay to not share the same view as someone else, sometimes (in life) I feel like if I don't share the same view point,  as someone else, I'll get chastised!

  That's my take on leadership, and I wish that everyone could work the same way. Everyone in a leadership position started from scratch and had to grow as a person to become a leader; I think we forget that. And so, I leave you with this:

    "If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader". —John Quincy Adams

A Lot To Do About Nothing...

I figured I need to get my once a month post in, so here goes...

I'm sitting on our bed with my napping pup (thank goodness). He goes through spells...some days he will sit at the window and relax, while other days he decides to sit at the window and bark at everything..the leaves, a bird, a cat, a person, a fly... I still love him, even when he has bad days, but we hide in the bedroom so I can get my work done without listening to the barking.

This blog has a lot to do about nothing, it's a little insight to our month...

This is my last week of subbing for the maternity leave person; I've been working half days for a week now so she can slowly get back into the swing of things. I enjoy getting off at 11:30 ish everyday; school days should be like that everyday! I have to say, it is bittersweet, doing this makes me miss teaching. However, since grad school is crazy and really busy, a big part of me needs to only work a few days a week.

Brandon says that I am too stressed out and never stop going; he's probably right ;) I decided to get a massage yesterday, you know those once every two years type of thing...I needed to relax, even if it was for a few hours, I NEEDED to RELAX. The intern at the school I sub at always asks me how my weekend was, and I always tell her how exciting it was..(NOT)! It usually consists of...oh I was in the library/Barnes and Nobles for "x amount" of hours working on school work. I feel like I have something good to tell her tomorrow...hey, I actually left the house to do something relaxing, and I even made it out to dinner with friends (see I'm not lame)...my how life changes when you get older.

Hey..I bought a car, not a new car, but its only a year and a half old, so it's new to me. AND I'M EXCITED about it. I'm not big on gloating, but did I say I have a new car?! If you know me, than you can appreciate this purchase too! My old Bessie, was very old...haha...she was missing a hub cap, when you started it, it squealed REALLY loud and it was a little embarrassing, if you were lucky, you might make it to your destination. We shared some good times too...like the time I was driving on Memorial Blvd. and the tire randomly fell off, that's a funny story to tell! So you could agree that it was time to move on to another car, new or semi new, we are happy to be able to have another reliable car.

And, we are coming up on our one year anniversary next month, and I can say that I love Brandon more and more each day. I think, in a marriage, you grow together so much and essentially, your partner becomes your very best friend! We never fight (I don't know if that's good or not) but we are good at communicating. Sure, I get irritated about things, and he gets irritated about thing that I do, but we don't yell at one another and we're not condescending. I'm happy to see what the future holds for us :)

That, folks, is my very uninteresting blog for the month!

The Giving Tree

  One of my favorite topics to teach, is teaching students about the different themes in stories. Sure, when we read stories, we usually look for problems and solutions, or discuss character traits, but to understand what the story is teaching is, is a hard topic for kids.

   One of my favorite books, The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein, was a book that I chose for this particular lesson. I felt that this book provided many different themes that could be argued with evidence from the story. Now, I haven't read this story is a long time, and little did I know that this would be a lesson for me too.

  So.... we started the lesson by discussing what theme is, and we talked about all of the different types of themes that books can teach us, and discussed examples of stories that we have read that might have had one of these themes. Then, we reviewed how to pick a theme and use evidence from the story to support that theme... you know how all of that teaching stuff goes.... but then I began to read the story...

  Well, if you don't know this story, I'll give you a bit of background:
          A little boy is befriends a tree, and he plays with the tree all the time as a child, and the tree loves the little boy. As he ages, he always visits the tree and asks for things, and the tree does its best to provide for the boy (or man). The tree gives everything it possibly can to the boy/man through its life and his life; each time it gives, it is still happy.

   At one point, during the story, a little girl raises her hand and says "Why is the tree still happy, even when he (the boy) takes her branches and her leaves? He's hurting her!!!"

  At that moment, I stopped, and really thought about what she said before I answered her. Hmmm.... then I had one of those really in depth thoughts and analyzed this story. This story has so much symbolism...I mean this tree could represent many things!! The tree could represent a mother, a teacher, GOD!!! WOW....why had I never thought about this before?

 So, then I answered her in my teacher voice, " Well, sometimes when you really love something or someone, you do everything in your power to help them and provide for them. Sometimes, making someone else happy, is all the happiness anyone or anything needs. In this case, the tree loves the boy so much, that giving everything to him, makes her the happiest because she knows that she is making the person she loves so incredibly happy. Like your mom or dad...see, parents do the same for us. They would do anything for you, they would give everything they could to see you succeed in life, and that is what the tree is like for that boy."
 
  The little girl looked at me and smiled, the reassuring smile of, "Okay, I understand that". After the story, we discussed the themes that this book represented: Love, friendship, kindness, being self-less.

 So, folks, I leave you with this:

If you are a parent, share this story with your babies. You are an amazing parent because you are self less, loving, and kind, like the tree.

If you are a teacher, share this with your class and teach them to be kind, teach them about friendship, and love. Tell them, that you are the tree, because we all know that teachers are self less, we love our "kids", and we provide them everything we can (within our means).

If you are a wife, share this with your husband. Share the love and passion of the tree because in a marriage you share the love of the tree...you both give without asking for anything in return, you always provide, and you both love unconditionally.

Good times, bad times

   I don't know about you, but it has been a heck of a week! I've never been so happy to see a weekend, and this weekend is a long weekend break for me! I am going to start with the bad, but end with the good....

   Everyone knows by my ugly Facebook posts that my wedding rings magically disappeared from the teacher's lounge bathroom on Monday. By fault, I left them resting on the sink after I washed my hands. I don't know how many people asked me if they could have fallen down the drain...well the answer is there is no way! The drain is caged in by a stopper so that only tiny things can get into the tiny holes that the drain has. Then, someone asked if they could have been pushed over into the trash can...well an hour and a half after I realized I'd left them there ( on the sink) I went to the bathroom in a panic and dug through every single piece of trash...yuck, I know! So, at this point, someone took them and probably sold them, unless their fingers are a tiny size 4.5.  I apologize for being so ugly about it, but I am very OCD about things and where I place things, I know I left them there, there isn't a single doubt in my mind. The thing that bothers me the most, is knowing that an adult had to take them, adults that work in a school and teach children to NOT take things that don't belong to them. While I would like to always see the good in everything, it's hard to see the good in this situation.
  A person made a lovely comment on my wall, reminding me that while someone can steal an object that identifies my marital status, they certainly can not steal the love I share with my husband, and they definitely can not steal the memories of my wedding day. A comment, that was eloquently written, and true to the core. While my head hangs low because I'm hurt that someone would steal, my heart only hurts for the person who has learned how to take out of greed. They can take an object that I certainly can't afford to replace, but they can't steal the love that the rings are based upon. Thank you for the reminder :)

 Secondly, I would like to thank my wonderful family and friends for trying to make my birthday special even when I was a cranky butt all week long, literally, a cranky butt! My husband tried to take my mind off things by offering to take me to the movies or out to dinner while I sulked around the house, mad that I put this situation upon myself. Poor guy, but I did have a lovely dinner at Ruth's Chris in Wilmington on Thursday night, even if my poor fellow forgot his wallet (can we catch a break here), thanks to mom and dad for helping us out, or else we would have been washing dishes all week long, haha! I am overjoyed by the amount of love that I receive from my family, they are always so thoughtful! I can't forget my friends either...my friend Brittney brought me a super yummy cupcake, my friend Hannah sent me a card and a painted card from her 2 year old daughter, along with her daugher singing happy birthday, so sweet! My sister in law sent me a beautiful blouse! And my two other best friends, Carma and Lauren, also sent me sweet cards and gifts. I can not thank you all enough for being so kind and thoughtful!

 That, folks, is what life is all about, through bad times and good times, you always have your family and close friends to remind you that you are always loved!